LIES...

I learnt few things from HIM late yesterday.
That LIES and DECEIT are two different things though basically both are quite similar when you look at both at first thought.
Lies according to HIM involved with words, things that we said that aren't true.
While deceit is more to the behavior. What we do is not supposedly/legally done - according to nature's law.

Truth hurts. That's why people tend to hide it. Sometimes, it is because we really don't want to hurt others...or them be mad at us.
But, HE is on the opinion that it is much better if we tell the truth rather than hide and let it be discovered by the one who we lied to.
The Hurt might not be that painful if we tell the truth right away. It is hurtful when we're not preprared for the unbearable facts that had been hidden from us.

Here, I see communication and trust are vital.
Communication if you're the person who have been lied to; and found out that you've been lied -- you need to talk to the person who lied to you. Apart from feeling devastatedly cheated, you need to moderate yourself, balance up between the denial/ devastation and reality.
How you react depends on how well you balance both. This, I assure you will result more understanding between them.
You need to higlight that you (the one that have been lied to) to the liar that you don't like the sad feeling of being cheated and betrayed.

Hence, comes the trust.
When people lie to us, we can never trust them anymore. Ever.
This is the hardest part...to regain the TRUST.

Lessons learnt: Don't lie. It's easy to lie. But it'll be forever before we can regain the TRUST.

I've learnt. I'm sorry.

Salam.

A year...that was..

It is exactly one year. December 20, 2004. In the Service.
One year is just a baby. Can't barely walk. Or talk.

My loved one (after this will be known as HE) asked, "Who's your nanny?" when I told him this. I didn't quite get it. At first.
"Who?" I asked back. "Who's babysitting it?" HE rephrased it. "Me, of course." still wondering inside.
"When I was in ****, we're the babysitters." HE explained. "We make sure that the organization 'grow up' and be responsible to sustain it as 'old' as we can", HE added. I can see it clearer. The bigger picture is that how I guarantee that my 'baby' grows up 'healthily', and become a 'somebody' if possible. Let's go back to the basic. Integrity in everything.

There is a big wide gap of difference 'living' in this Service. Compared to the Bank.
You CANNOT compare both in the frist place, actually.
We have the same customer, the people. But different aims. We go for the good of the people. No money talks.
However, on the Other Side, "stingy","profitability","on-time", "killer deadlines" are the things you see daily. Less political. No red tapes.
To my surprise I enjoy both. HE would say, "I'm not surprise 't all, you simply LOVE working". Yes, I do love working.

Dear God,
Please help me through the way. It is still very long way to go. It will surely be a winding road. Through this path, I hope I do good to the others who I'd meet en route. Thank you.

I'll be right back.

Through looking glass..

A facelift?
A 'black' to 'white' MJ?
Naah, I just need a slight change..
Carry on guys, don't get bothered with this luminous whitening face.

Returning to the real world..

Dear DPA,
So long. Farewell. I'll miss you. But I need to float back to Reality.

Dear Reality,
I'm back. Finally. 'Though it was quite a push for me. I've returned to contribute.

Dear God,
Help me to be strong like those days again. And hear my inner cries. And Thank You.

Dear Friends,
Forgive me for the neglect. Please let me be in the circle again.

Dear Loved Ones,
Please Understand. I'll always love you all.

I'm ready . Now.

Through looking glass

A'kum & Hi all,

LONG HIATUS!

yes..and I'm really sorry for not typing much about my life since..DEC 2004!
So much had happened..and the biggest thing is that my career..
Now as a civil servant. Proudly though, I must say that one of the reasons why I switched job is because of my wish to contribute more. Sounds so idealistic, but hey that's the truth.

I had mixed feelings though when I got the "URUSAN SERI PADUKA BAGINDA" letter..I really enjoyed the life in banking industry, fast paced, where your decision making skill, your patience and self perseverence are tested. I cherished the experience that I went through with my Unit Head- K.Jas, my Section Head- Jess, my HR Managers - K.Mazie, K.MM & K. Siti as well as the collegues who're very aggressive in meeting up the deadlines..I missed all that..despite that fact that it is soooo mind-blasting-full-of-tensions-that-you-really-wanna-scream-your-heart-out feelings..

Now,here I am, in one of the biggest ministries in M'sia's governance. Education. And I'm attached in HR too! And the staffing is way more than the Bank. We are proud to say that we have about 300,000 teachers, nationwide. :)
The workload..?similar, and more. When I was with the Bank, 7 -8 p.m was my log-off time. Here in MoE, 7-9p.m is an everyday life.
You might have the typical assumption on the Gov's servants going back at 5 on the dot, and there's nothing to worry about the work when you're at home. Well, you might need to think again.

Anyways, life has been good to me. You meet so many new faces, new challenges.
Here the people/nation is our stakeholders. We're paid by the taxpayers. All the minutes that are ticking away are precious...
Accountability is vital here. The responsible is heavier...
I've learnt a lot, can't wait to share them with you guys.

I'll be back.